
Excerpt from "Sex Makes People Stupid: How to Avoid Ending Up with a Loser" This is a list of questions to help you and your Dating Advisory Committee make sure you aren't lowering or compromising your standards.
Part 1: Knowing What You Want
Best to do when you are NOT in a relationship
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What interests must we have in common?
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Recreational
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Musical
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Spiritual
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Nutritional
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Familial
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How do I want our time together to affect our future goals?
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What are my future goals?
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What do I need in a relationship to achieve those goals?
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What are my preferences with regard to handling conflict, disappointment or frustration? (For example: prefer a “cooling off” period? keep talking until the problem is resolved?)
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What are my non-negotiable beliefs?
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About God or church?
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About the roles of husbands and wives in marriage? Who is responsible for what?
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About sex before/outside of marriage?
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About children? (Having? Raising someone else’s?)
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About money?
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What character qualities must my partner have? (Example: loyal, trustworthy, sense of humor, patient, etc.)
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What are my physical preferences?
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How do I want to feel about myself after I have been with this person?
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Part 2: When You Think You've Found "The One"
These questions should be asked early and often in the relationship
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- How do I feel about myself after I have spent time with this person? Has that changed since we started seeing each other?
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What level of sexual intimacy has this person experienced with previous partners? Is this in alignment with my expectations?
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What kind of relationship does this person have with members of their family?
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Parents/Step-parents
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Siblings
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Extended family
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How does this person demonstrate concern for my well-being? Do they take unnecessary risks?
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How do my conversations with others about this person sound? (For example: do I find myself trying to excuse or explain their behavior?)
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When I’m with this person, how do I feel? (For example: Accepted the way I am? That they want me to change? Understood? Guilty? Encouraged? Nervous?)
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How has this person handled:
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Personal tragedy?
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Money?
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Personality conflict?
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Important decisions?
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Previous love interests?
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How does our time together affect our future goals?
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My goals?
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Their Goals?
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