Excerpt from One-Night Stands, and Other Love Advice We Wish We Had Growing Up by “Feminist” Amanda De Cadenet (Glamor, 9/12/17):
Know this: A one-night stand is not a bad thing. Although my story isn’t that unusual, the first time I had sex, there was no orgasm for me—just an agitated vagina, damp underwear, and the overwhelming question of why I’d ever want to do that again. Sex got more exciting in my twenties, when I discovered the joy of the one-night stand. Some of my favorite sexual experiences have been with people I never wanted to see again but whom I’m very pleased I spent the night with. We’re raised to believe love and sex are connected, but most people don’t have sex because they’re in love; they do it because it feels really good. Sex is the most personal choice we make, and it should be ours to make freely; just make sure you’re safe and don’t leave with more than you arrived with.
1) “Some of my favorite sexual experiences have been with people I never wanted to see again.“ Ms. De Cadenet promotes the very thing that the Women’s Movement originally opposed: treating women (or men) as sexual objects to be used and discarded like litter. Objectification devalues both the individual and their contributions or achievements. Will society really benefit by producing more people with the self-absorbed attitude reflected in this author?
3) “Don’t leave with more than you arrived with” (referring to sexually transmitted infections or a newly forming life) is Factually Foolish Advice. Its impossible to tell by looking if someone is infected. There is no way to “be safe” sexually, in Real Life, because the most common sexual infections can be transmitted with or without condoms. And 54% of women who abort state they were using contraception at the time of conception.
There is also a growing body of scientific research links promiscuity with depression among women. How could someone know beforehand if they might be one of those women?
LET’S TALK ABOUT IT!
A good test for whether or not something is “good,” is to ask, “What would happen if EVERYONE did this?”
- What are some of the potential results if everyone “had a few one-night-stands” in their 20’s?
- What impact (if any) would a pregnancy following a one-night-stand have on the men, women and children involved?
- What would happen to the epidemic levels of STIs if people chose to have sex with only ONE partner in their lifetime?
Love to know how it goes! kk