The Antique Table
This is a true story.
A woman named Pearl had an antique store, and in this store she had a beautiful oak table that she had priced at $500. But she decided to mark it down to $400 so it would sell and she could bring in new inventory.
One day, a man named Ted came in and he saw the table. He said, "It's a nice table, but $400 is too much money. I'll give you $300 for it."
Pearl said, "This table is actually worth close to $1,000, and $400 is a really good price for it."
"But it's got some scratches on it," he protested.
She said, "This table is hundreds of years old, its gotten a lot of use. Of course it has scratches! That's partly how you know it's so valuable."
"I could probably buy a better one new," Ted responded.
Pearl smiled, "This table is made of solid oak. It wasn't made in a factory somewhere out of particle-board. It was made by a man who loved wood, who took pride in his work and paid attention to each detail. You won't find this kind of quality anywhere for such a good price."
They went back and forth. Ted kept trying to get Pearl to lower the price and she kept explaining all the reasons why the table was worth every penny she was asking.
Finally, Ted said, "I like the table, really I do. If you would just change the price, I would buy it."
That’s when Pearl said, thoughtfully, "OK, after talking to you, I think I will change the price on this table." She took out her black marker and crossed out $400 on the price tag… and then she wrote --- $600!
Ted got really mad, and snapped, "You can't do that!"
Pearl replied, "Sure I can. It's my store and my table. I decide what its worth. This table is easily worth $1,000. I realized as I was talking to you that if I sell it for $400, I would be selling myself short, and I'm not willing to do that. One day someone will come in and see this beautiful table. They'll pay what I'm asking, get a great bargain, but I won't have sold myself short. So I'll just wait for them. Thank you, and have a nice day."
Ted argued some more, but eventually he sighed, "OK, lady, you made your point. I'll give you $400 for it."
Pearl said patiently, "You don't understand . . . it's a $600 table."
Would you believe, he bought that table. And he paid $600 for it. True, he argued and complained for along time, but ultimately he bought that table for $600.
The table didn't change while they were talking. The only thing that changed was Ted's opinion of what it was worth. And when Ted got it home, he didn't treat it like a $300 table. He treated it like a very valuable $600 table. It became a family heirloom, passing from one generation to the next.
OK, so what if Pearl realized later, that she made a mistake. Do you think she could have persuaded Ted to give her $300 MORE, after he got it home?
Of course not!
So, what’s the point?
Your sexuality is just like that table. You set the price on it. How other people treat your sexuality is based on how YOU see it.
One woman heard this story from a friend who then asked, "What's the price on your table?"
With tears running down her face, she thought of all the things she had done to devalue her sexuality. Things that hurt, and made her face flush. Without looking up, she said, "My table isn't worth much anymore. I’ve given a lot of precious things away. It seems pretty scratched. I guess it’s worth about 50 cents now."
He said, "If YOU treat it like it's worth fifty cents, you give everyone else permission ot treat you like you're worth fifty cents."
YOU decide how you want to be treated.
Your sexuality is the most precious, vulnerable part of who you are, so you decide:
"What's the price on your table?
This is an adaptation of a story told by my friend, Rick Stedman. The original story can be found in his book: Your Single Treasures: The Positive Side of Single Sexuality
You can see Karen tell it on the DVD, Everyone Lied About Sex.
