So I have a few questions...
- Do you think it's common for an employee to routinely show up late and unprepared for a job, to be promoted into their dream position?
- Do you think it's common for someone to eat fast food every day for years and then change to a no-fat, no-gluten, no-sugar diet without experiencing some challenges trying to stick with it?
- Do you think it's common for someone to watch porn for hours every day and not have it negatively impact their ability to relate to a real person?
Then can someone please explain to me how "hook-up culture" [anything from making out to sexual gratification with a person you barely know] prepares you to enter into a faithful, happy and unselfish relationship?
That's what you want, isn't it? To love someone who knows everything about you but loves you anyway? To be faithful to someone who is happy to be faithful to you? To share your heart, soul, spirit and body with someone who never uses you? To have your biggest cheerleader be the person you most admire? That IS the goal, the highest pinnacle of human relationship, isn't it?
But according to a book by Donna Freitas, PhD, called "The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy" college students, and even high schoolers now, are putting tremendous effort into learning how to deaden their feelings so that intimate behavior with virtual strangers leaves them with the sensation more or less like a good workout.
Let's be honest here. You instinctively know sex is supposed to mean more than a game of tennis, but youth culture teaches you to treat as if it doesn't. And until you can do that, you're not really "in." And being able to fit in, is necessary to finding The One, because, of course, they are "in."
So, doesn't that mean your end goal then is to choose your lifetime partner from the pool of people who met their needs for sexual and/or emotional gratification without any attachment? Doesn't that mean they have mastered the art of USING people?
And having mastered this art, as much if not more, than the skills needed for a career, you both still assume you be emotionally vulnerable and transparent about your dreams, hopes and feelings?